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Writer's pictureKayla Isabel

You’ll Miss Me When I’m Gone by Rachel Lynn Solomon


Eighteen-year-old twins Adina and Tovah have little in common besides their ambitious nature. Viola prodigy Adina yearns to become a soloist—and to convince her music teacher he wants her the way she wants him. Overachiever Tovah awaits her acceptance to Johns Hopkins, the first step on her path toward med school and a career as a surgeon.

But one thing could wreck their carefully planned futures: a genetic test for Huntington’s, a rare degenerative disease that slowly steals control of the body and mind. It’s turned their Israeli mother into a near stranger and fractured the sisters’ own bond in ways they’ll never admit. While Tovah finds comfort in their Jewish religion, Adina rebels against its rules.

When the results come in, one twin tests negative for Huntington’s. The other tests positive.

These opposite outcomes push them farther apart as they wrestle with guilt, betrayal, and the unexpected thrill of first love. How can they repair their relationship, and is it even worth saving?

From debut author Rachel Lynn Solomon comes a luminous, heartbreaking tale of life, death, and the fragile bond between sisters.

This book has meant a lot to me. Being able to relate to characters who are like me has made me a happier reader.

Tovah and Adina are twins who share nothing more than the same genes since Adina did the unthinkable to Tovah. They couldn’t be more different if they tried, Tovah is on track to become a doctor and Adina wants nothing more than to be a soloist. But when they turn eighteen, one blood test will change their lives forever. One twin tests positive for the degenerative disease called Huntington’s while the other doesn’t.

Before I jump into my review, I do want to give a trigger warning for some of the content in this book. There is a lot of talk about impending death. There are scenes that deal with sex, depression and self harm.

Adina is not a likable character. And in my opinion, that is the point. But even with that being said, Adina holds a special place in my heart. Adina is ruthless, strong, determined, and talented. She is sick of living in Tovah’s shadow and will do anything she can to take her down. Adina shows the more “evil” side of the two, but the thing is the two to of them need each other. Whether they like it or not.

Tovah is much more likable. She contrasts Adina in many ways but the two compliment each other at the same time. Tovah is smart, determined, friendly, and shy. She feels as if she has been living in Adina’s shadow her whole life.

Adina spirals out of control, taking down everyone around her. Slowly, it leaks into Tovah’s life turning both sisters into people they hardly recognize anymore. These characters are filled with such strong and raw emotions for everything.

I loved this book so much. As a Jewish young adult, growing up all the books I read were about white christian kids in small towns and there was always a token Jewish kid but they were never observant. They were jewish and maybe went to hebrew school but that was it, it was like being Jewish was an after thought.  And if there were any books written about Jewish kids, it was about Jewish girls who rebelled against their families and ended up leaving their faith to be a with a boy who wasnt Jewish. Or they were holocaust books. There is so much more to being Jewish. And this book shows that.

While Adina and Tovah have very different relationships with being Jewish, to both of them it plays a big role in their lives whether they like it, Tovah, or not, Adina. The way the author portrays the two characters relationship to being Jewish is something that is real. It shows real dynamics between siblings, one that I have seen. One sibling is more devoted to being Jewish than the other, one sees it as a burden while the other sees it as an integral part of who they are.

Adina is confident and her sexuality oozes off of her, while Tovah is much more reserved. Adina gets herself involved with someone who doesn’t return her feelings while Tovah falls head over heels for someone who really likes her too.

Then we have Adina and Tovah’s parents, their Ema and Abba. Ema and Abba is mom and dad in hebrew. And their parents personalities are similar to some of the aspects in Tovah and Adina’s lives. Their mother has been slowly dying from Huntington’s Disease. But unlike her daughters, Ema doesn’t show her spiraling. She keeps it together for her daughters and her husband, her faith is strong. Which is the opposite of Adina’s.

This story shows a real depiction of the struggle with faith and finding who you are. It shows the reality of what happens when your whole life is turned on its head.

Also, since I pre-ordered the book I received a bonus chapter and UGH. That changed my feelings towards Adina a bit, because we got to see her more grown up. But I do feel like maybe we weren’t supposed to like Adina, but we were supposed to love her. Which made me feel like the sibling dynamic between Tovah and Adina, while they really didn’t like each other there was this love for each other that ran deep.

Both girls show how real and delicate faith, love, life and so much more is. I really loved this book, especially because I finally felt like I was able to truly able to relate to the characters that were being written about. I was able to see myself in these young women. I relate to Tovah more than Adina, my faith is a big part of who I am and being Jewish is something that means a lot to me. It makes me feel connected and a part of something bigger, I don’t feel hindered by it’s rules and regulations. It’s something I love.

I really loved this book. If you are looking for a book that will show a group that I personally feel like doesn’t have enough books written about, then check this one out. It has siblings, first love, family and a lot more. But you will want to have a box of tissues on hand, it did make me teary a little here and there.

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